To all the days that I spent not acting upon my anger, to all the emotions I did not show. I have been wondering if I could ever make up for the time I lost, or ever could get back the pieces of me that once constituted what I called me.
When you listen to what caused me to get angry, you would agree to my stand. I knew that anger was a rational response, but I understood that I wouldn't show it, for the world.
It would be easy for anyone to say that I was being a pushover, but once you feel what I felt, you may beg to differ.
Amidst the monotony of the daily struggle to be a 'better me' for the world, I started to think I found someone I was the 'best' for.
I just couldn't get angry or upset, not because I adored and admired him, but because I knew, that the pieces I saw, may not have been mine, but were identical to them, for we both were broken, possibly in a similar fashion.
Moreover, I let go of it. Of everytime I got angry, or upset, or annoyed, because I saw in his eyes what I didn't see in any other pair. Further, I assumed that this different, was good.
In the symphony of my affection for him, I forgot that he expected a similar look, and looked through my inability to match.
All that I suppressed for him, was taken to be my disinterested nature, probably how I took his longing for me to be love.
Even though I lost myself in the rhythm of the toxic equation, the one thing that consoled me, to say, was that at least it wasn't a cacophony, and that it may have been a misunderstanding, but at least it wasn't a mistake.
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