Skip to main content

Wavelength

To all the days that I spent not acting upon my anger, to all the emotions I did not show. I have been wondering if I could ever make up for the time I lost, or ever could get back the pieces of me that once constituted what I called me.

When you listen to what caused me to get angry, you would agree to my stand. I knew that anger was a rational response, but I understood that I wouldn't show it, for the world.
It would be easy for anyone to say that I was being a pushover, but once you feel what I felt, you may beg to differ.

Amidst the monotony of the daily struggle to be a 'better me' for the world, I started to think I found someone I was the 'best' for.

I just couldn't get angry or upset, not because I adored and admired him, but because I knew, that the pieces I saw, may not have been mine, but were identical to them, for we both were broken, possibly in a similar fashion.

Moreover, I let go of it. Of everytime I got angry, or upset, or annoyed, because I saw in his eyes what I didn't see in any other pair. Further, I assumed that this different, was good.

In the symphony of my affection for him, I forgot that he expected a similar look, and looked through my inability to match.
All that I suppressed for him, was taken to be my disinterested nature, probably how I took his longing for me to be love.

Even though I lost myself in the rhythm of the toxic equation, the one thing that consoled me, to say, was that at least it wasn't a cacophony, and that it may have been a misunderstanding, but at least it wasn't a mistake.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The monotony of being different

All my life I was told I am different. Sometimes it was appreciated, sometimes not so much.  I was told I had energy unparalleled, sometimes appreciated, other times not. Some people tell me how much they admired me, some said I couldn’t be understood.  Ever since I was a child, I was told being different is good.  In school, I was told different people tend to make better lives for themselves. In movies, I was shown that the protagonist is always, well, different.  These notions influenced my perspective towards life, making me crave the feeling of being different. Having said that, I was never treated like I was different, challenging my notion of me being “different”. However, sometime back I realized that I was never treated like I was different because no one wanted me to know how different I am.  Every time something nice happened to me, every time I said something exceptional, people tried to normalize how exceptional these things were. That is when I cou...
Post a Comment
Read more

Privilege and Burden

The crown isn't just a mere ornament to be worn, it's a privilege and a burden.  For you sit with your head high, the crown embellished with precious stones, while the others bow. Privilege.  But, you can not look down, for even a slight tilt of the head, can make you lose the crown. Burden.  For you can wave and smile when thousands gather around to get just one glimpse of you. Privilege.  But you can't laugh your heart out when you find something funny in front of those same people. Burden.  But it's rare to find a person who can do both. The crown has the final say in everything yet the bearer of the crown doesn't have a voice.  But the true monarch can't be just anybody, because the bearer of the crown might be a puppet of these strings, but a monarch is one who controls everything. Smile when they have to, laugh when they want, hold their heads high when they have to but tilt their heads in disagreement when they want to.  Privilege and burden exi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Tame

On the day that I get one year older, I can't help but wonder Of all the people I loved, In all the things I trust Is there something that can actually make me happy? Or is it just an illusion, happiness? For I seek it in the smile of a loved one, Or in all the things I love but none For my happiness may not lie in things I am not, For that's so much to ask for, a lot And on this day I'd like to tell me, Find your content within thee For it is human to love, But to expect the same isn't the same as above And accept your attachments, But never expect from your attachments For being the slave of your own desire is what a man would do, And you? You're a woman that's learnt much more, For you're not just any other girl You're the queen that knows better, And all those who find you to blame Are incapable of understanding That you're not theirs to tame.
Post a Comment
Read more