That's when I saw it.
A shadow shift, from the corner of my eye. I knew it was there!
My hunger for answers to questions I didn't know was always something that my father warned me against. Nonetheless, like the curious cat I was, I lurked closer and closer to my doom.
Well, I looked here and there, for some sign of it being true, and discovered something that scared me to death.
I had always been interested in psychology, and I always did think of it as an option to take and go further in my life with it. Be it clinical psychology, or the realm of what we call parapsychology. But, never had I ever, seen it so closely.
I remember being perennially scarred, by what I saw in the psych ward. Patients ranging from split personality disorder, to schizophrenia, all who I thought would've been not very intelligent to see something that isn't there, but ranging in intelligence higher than ours. It shook me. Well, to say the least. And after that, it was only me thinking about how I always thought I was above them all, at least when it comes to the mind.
And that's when I saw it. I heard it loud and clear.
My efforts to reach out to someone were in vain, because it wouldn't let me. However, people did notice. They thought, at first, I was weird. Well, the word wasn't immutable, and it soon became disturbed, before everyone finally settling for 'not stable'.
Believe it or not, I write. I write because I have faith, and I wouldn't know whether it is the medicines they give me, or my will, but I know something's wrong. What it is, I wouldn't know.
I write because no one believes me, and that's fair, because I hardly can. But to tell you the truth, I know it's always behind me. Lurking in the shadows in light, and merging with the darkness in the absence of it. Even these medicines don't convince me it isn't there, and I wouldn't know if that's because maybe I'm too plagued with this disease, or by it.
All I do know is, that something haunts me. Be it the entity, or the enticing lie that we call the mind.
All my life I was told I am different. Sometimes it was appreciated, sometimes not so much. I was told I had energy unparalleled, sometimes appreciated, other times not. Some people tell me how much they admired me, some said I couldn’t be understood. Ever since I was a child, I was told being different is good. In school, I was told different people tend to make better lives for themselves. In movies, I was shown that the protagonist is always, well, different. These notions influenced my perspective towards life, making me crave the feeling of being different. Having said that, I was never treated like I was different, challenging my notion of me being “different”. However, sometime back I realized that I was never treated like I was different because no one wanted me to know how different I am. Every time something nice happened to me, every time I said something exceptional, people tried to normalize how exceptional these things were. That is when I cou...
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